How to Let Yourself Experience Happiness
“I’ll be happy when …”
Why is it that we keep pushing happiness out to some blurry and oblivion future that may never materialize?
Our life journey can be unpredictable and sometimes flat out painful. Living can sometimes look a lot like suffering.
Happiness is here for the taking for all of us. Our joy doesn’t need to be conditional.
WE make our happiness conditional. Yes, we can make our lives better, no matter how good our lives already are. There is always room for more. But, in doing so, we lose sight of enjoying the present and the happiness we already have.
Our minds can play tricks on us if left untamed. And if our minds are trained to only focus on negativity, they’ll never choose happiness. Alas, we should take steps to cleanse our minds from all the negativity we’ve picked up along the line while living.
Change how you talk to yourself if you want to change your outlook on life.
Throw away your self-criticism
Self-criticism is perhaps the #1 bad habit we can acquire. Of course, we weren’t born with this bad habit. But it got instilled in us as we grew up and absorbed all the criticisms. At home, when we did something wrong. At school, when we didn’t give the right answers. At work, when we screwed up.
Our minds continuously dwell on criticism. Why? It’s simple, most feedback can be negative feedback. Why is that? Because others can be very stingy when it comes to giving positive feedback.
No one can criticize us worse than how we criticize ourselves. In many ways, we can be our own worst enemy. Self-limiting thoughts can be very damaging. They’ll stop us from doing what we need and becoming what we’re capable of.
Be realistic about what you say to yourself
This one may sound difficult for most of us. If you made a big mistake, make a note of what you learned. Tell yourself, “yes, I made a mistake, but I also learned such and such.” Life is all about growing.
We tend to be overly realistic about our weaknesses. We punish ourselves when we make mistakes. But we’re quick to dismiss our qualities. You must consciously reprogram your mind to acknowledge your accomplishments. That means, pausing to celebrate your victories. Your mind will record the event as a success.
For most over-achievers, once success is achieved, they quickly move on to the next puzzle. Hardly giving the mind time to feel how success should feel. So, remember to celebrate your accomplishments.
Train your mind to focus on positive self-talk
This will take a bit of getting used to. I bet most of your self-talk is negative. Why? Because we barely talk to ourselves about all the things we do right. We almost always focus on what we screw up.
Next time, when you do something right, when you make the right decision, when you take the right action, have a conversation with yourself. Tell yourself, “Self, Good job, you got this one right!”
The mind attracts what it dwells on. With regular positive self-talk, your focus will shift to positively. Your mind will get used to learning the sensations of success and positive outcomes.
Give yourself hope
Let’s be honest, who does that? Do you? Remind yourself that you have all the right tools, your instincts, and your experiences, to help you make the right decisions well into the future. Choices that will help you move forward whatever path you choose.
You have all the tools to bring changes to your life. Traditionally, we’re programmed to be apprehensive about whatever we set out to do. Our mind works hard to prevent us from taking any risk. We can see all the things that can go wrong.
But, we most often fail to visualize all the things that can go right in our future endeavors. In the process, our apprehensions become so strong that we get paralyzed to take action. We hesitate. We put it off. We convince ourselves it’s not the right time. Hence, unable to implement changes we seek in our lives.
So, let yourself feel the confidence that you’re fully capable of moving forward. You can achieve your dreams. One step at a time. One right decision at a time.
Let go of bitterness
Bitterness and hatred disconnect us from joy and tranquility. If your heart and mind are full of hate and resentment, you can’t feel love and gratitude. They can’t coexist at the same time.
You might have a very good reason to feel bitter about something someone did. But when you think about it, remaining in a state of bitterness will deter you from being happy and content. Sometimes, it’s much easier to let go of resentment for the sake of our own so we can continue in a more peaceful state.
The beautiful thing about life is we can choose how and whom we spend our time with. So choose your friends wisely. If you have a toxic friend who sucks the life out of you, makes you miserable every time you hang out with them, let them go.
You’ve got one life to live, live it around those who are kind to you.
Find forgiveness
If you can forgive, good for you!
But this one can be a tough one, even for those people whose religion instructs to forgive.
No matter how kind-hearted you are, sometimes it’s impossible to completely forgive someone for their uncaring or unkind behavior. In this scenario, you can just distant yourself if you have difficulty completely forgiving those who do you wrong.
You have no obligation to allow such behavior to continue.
Last but not least:
LOOK for happiness and gratitude in all the places in your life
Every one of us has a lot that we take for granted. Won’t you agree? We don’t take the time to slow down and contemplate on all the blessings we ALREADY have in our lives. We’re always on the hunt for the next big thing. But the reality is we already have a lot to be happy about.
The challenge here is to look for happiness.
Do this: Slow down. Look around. Think about the love you already have in every relationship in your life. Look for the blessings. Look for the material comfort you already enjoy.
Then, DECIDE to keep those positive thoughts in your mind. In gratitude. Train your mind to reflect, often, on the happiness that you feel today. This minute. And hold those thoughts in your mind as you go about your day.
You CAN decide to be happy today!
Imagine you going about your day with happiness filling your heart.
Imagine your mind feeling content because you’re able to focus on all the goodness you have in your life right this minute. Truly enjoying the present!
Enjoying a productive day at the office. Looking forward to spending a beautiful evening with family or friends. Being happy and content about a leisurely weekend off instead of yearning for two weeks of expensive vacations.
So, start your trek to happiness!